OK – so your cat is surpuss to requirements. You’re no longer smitten with your kitten. You’ve had enough of your bundle of fluff. Above all, you want to pass on your puss without fuss. That’s why, in a moment of warped inspiration, we created webuyanycat.com – the cat buying service that’s so good, it’s unreal.
Don’t get in a flap about selling your cat! webuyanycat.com takes the stress out of flogging a second-hand feline. We take your cat’s basic details online, check it’s up to scratch, and offer you a fistful of readies for a lapful of cat.
Whether you have a pristine Persian, a sleek Siamese, a scraggy tabby or a crusty crossbreed, you’re guaranteed a fur price. Furry nuff?
If you have cat valuation questions, or just wonder how tatty is your puddy, here are the most frequently asked questions about selling us your cat, for everyone who’s woken up and said, “That’s the last time that **** thing is sleeping on my face!”
If you can’t find the answer to your questions within the FAQs, we’re not in the least surprised.
A. Oh really – you'll be asking us "what’s the meaning of life?" next. Go back to the beginning, sit up straight, pay attention and next time, we ask the questions.
A. Why? Because there’s no one else daft enough to go around buying cats like we do! Like it or not, we’re the only choice if you want to sell your pussy, buddy.
A. Of course not. You can’t get a three-dimensional tangible entity into a virtual non-existent conceptual space. Try looking behind the sofa, under the bed, in the airing cupboard or in next door’s kitchen.
A. Try waking it up. Or a diet.
A. Like the name says, we buy any cat, from a Moggy Minor to a slinky Siberian. If it’s got paws with retractable claws, a set of long whiskers and resolutely refuses to chase sticks and herd sheep, we reckon it’s probably a cat and we’ll buy it, (pussibly).
A. We’d like it to be highly purrlished and purrfectly pretty, but we’ll also accept scabby, mangy, tatty, ratty and dribbly.
A. No, we can’t be doing with having parts of cats all over the place. We want your puss, your whole puss and nothing but your puss.
A. If you bought your cat using furnance, such as Higher Pawchase, then it must have been a very posh puss. Please note we can’t buy cats that are fleased, as they still belong to the fleasing company.
A. No, we’re round the bend.
A. We weren’t born yesterday. We know you’re out at night, kidnapping kittens and snatching cats, hoping to make a furtune out of your evil pusstime. Frankly we’re shocked. (Psst - get ‘em to us quick, we won’t tell anyone if you won’t).
A. What do you take us for - crazy people?
A. No, you might find our get-out claws.
A. Is the earth flat? Is there gold at the end of the rainbow? Is Donald Trump president of the USA? Oh, apparently he is; crikey. Anyway, we love cats and the thought of parting people from their pussies is about as palatable as a week-old bowl of cream. Yuk! So no, we don’t buy any cats. At all. Not even a teeny kitten.
If you really can’t cope with your cat, we suggest talking to the very good people at Cats Protection or the Blue Cross, who’ll help ensure a fabulous future for your fortunate feline.
© webuyanycat.com 2011
